Hey, Mama, it’s ok to cry. Being a mum is a tough job. I think every mum can relate to that. We all try to do our best for our children, but sometimes there is just too much on our shoulders, and all you want to do is cry. And that’s ok.
Crying is ok. When you are at your witts end, crying seems like the only solution. You feel much better once you let those tears roll down your cheeks. I know I do.
Just because you are a mum, you don’t have to be strong and have it all together 24/7.
When I was growing up, my parents never shared their feelings with my siblings and me. I never knew when something was bothering them.
I want to show my daughter that it’s ok to feel sad, upset and emotional sometimes. When you are a mum, there are so many moments when you feel that way.
I had one of those moments last night when Little E woke up at around 2 am and didn’t want to sleep for hours. Instead, she decided that it was a perfect time for some rollover exercise.
I never wanted to co-sleep but for the last week or so I just had enough of getting out of bed almost every hour when she wakes up and needs feeding or comforting. People say, once you let her in your bed, you won’t get her out when she is older. And I have to admit, in my mind, I was judging my sister when she let her newborn baby sleep in their bed. But who am I to judge her? She knows best what works for them.
Back to Little E now. She’s been sleeping quite poorly since she was about four months old, but it seems that it’s getting even worse. These days Mr A sleeps in the second bedroom while I share our bed with Little E.
After few hours of ‘fighting’ with her trying to make her sleep (breastfeeding would usually do the trick, but not this time), I was exhausted, I was frustrated, and I was angry. All of a sudden it was just too much to bear and I just started to cry. And that poor little girl just looked at me with her big eyes as if she was saying ‘Mum, I’m sorry, I’m only a small baby’. I felt much better almost immediately.
I also felt very guilty about my feelings of anger towards her. I know my daughter is not doing it on purpose. I know that it’s only a phase and she will grow out of it eventually. There will be times when I’ll have to drag her out of bed, and I know that too.
But when you read online that babies at eight months of age can sleep for 10 hours straight at night, it doesn’t help your situation. When your friend tells you her baby sleeps through the night since she was born, it’s hard not to get frustrated sometimes and think of your child as being difficult.
We mums tend to compare ourselves to other mums, and we compare our children with other children. And that’s a big mistake. Each child develops individually, at their own pace. Not every baby is going to sit unsupported at six months of age. Little E certainly didn’t. In fact, she still doesn’t sit unsupported now at eight months of age. She will eventually, sooner or later. So why is this other mum in my local play group giving me this strange look when I tell her how old my baby is?
I am learning to accept that people will judge you. So what? The most important thing is that your baby is healthy and happy.
Sometimes it feels like a competition between our mums. And you may even feel like a failure at times. But hey, remember that whatever you do, it’s good enough. Being the loving and caring mum is good enough for your baby.
And showing your emotions is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign that you are a normal human being with feelings. Your children need to understand that you can get upset and sad and angry sometimes. As much as you have to acknowledge their feelings, they should learn that you have feelings too. So again all you mamas out there, it’s ok to cry without feeling embarrassed or bad about it.
You don’t have to be perfect and superhuman all the time. Every parent’s journey is different and unique. Every child is unique and has different needs and demands.
So, let’s accept and cherish the uniqueness and individuality of our babies and if you feel like crying sometimes, know that you are not alone and crying is ok.
Have a lovely day.
Zuzana
